tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26158848912453916332024-03-08T13:38:15.373-08:00Path through the CosmosG. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-60622646426822051382014-08-18T11:53:00.000-07:002014-08-18T11:53:17.171-07:00It doesn't matter that nothing mattersIt's funny.<br />
<br />
I never thought that my desire for connection to the universe could subside. I never imagined that I could ever give up.<br />
<br />
I have. I know I have.<br />
<br />
It's more because things didn't happen than because anything did; the world is constantly evolving and shifting, and perhaps it has always been that way. I wanted to be an active force in it. I wanted to change the world, save it somehow, make it better. I used to really think I could make a difference. But it's all just writing on the shore as the waves come in. All things in the world are temporary, and the world doesn't exist anyway.<br />
<br />
I only see my own perceptions, and they are skewed and untrue. I can't trust my perceptions, my interpretations, my feelings, or thoughts. They are all miscolored by preconceptions. They are all distortions. The moments of clarity I cling to in my memory are in the past. <br />
<br />
The thing that has always mattered to me is figuring out what I am, what the universe is, what/if God is, and <i>why.</i> It looks like different questions, but it's all the same answer. And it's unanswerable. There are no words that will be able to encode it, there are no feelings to express it, no thoughts to contain it. I will have to dissolve this bizarre persona to even come close.<br />
<br />
And then I find that other things matter to me too, things tied into what I believe myself to be: a writer of fantasy stories; a human desiring of camaraderie with others; a being with a physical form who must figure out a way to continue to survive in a physical world.<br />
<br />
Compromising those drives with the constant thought-parade that insists none of it matters results in a sort of hitching pendulum swing:<br />
<br />
I want to write all the stories, and draw all the pictures, make all the films, and design all the things! But why? Why <i>do</i> anything? It doesn't matter. Even if I like it at one moment, knowing that it doesn't matter, doesn't accomplish, or doesn't actually make any difference one way or the other saps the excitement out of it completely.<br />
<br />
But here's the thing: it doesn't matter that nothing matters. <i>I </i>think it does, and it destroys <i>my</i> joy, but I'm not thinking clearly. I'm thinking that if I do something, I will think better about myself. I will become better for it. I'm not going to save myself from anything by accomplishing task 1, 2, or 3, but that isn't the point of <i>doing</i> anything. This is what I need to learn, and the easiest way to do so is by playing video games.<br />
<br />
Video games (like everything else, really) are self-contained universes. We look in, we play around, we think about them. Our ideas about our experiences are the only things we take with us. The events therein don't affect my outer life except in how I think about them and use them to relate to other things. That's all. One day I can go steal cars and rob banks; another day I can give gold to beggars and bring down an ogre plaguing a town. It doesn't matter. I do it because I like to. No pressure. That's what I could be doing instead of plaguing myself with how much I'm failing at life because I'm not doing x, y, or z.<br />
<br />
Look, man, it's not going to matter when I'm not here anymore (or even tomorrow, really) if I drew a picture or wrote this story, or painted a picture no one else ever sees. It doesn't matter what I do. I might as well enjoy it. There's no pressure on me from anyone anywhere except the crushing pressure of my own self-scrutiny. I might as well just do what I care to. It doesn't have to be grand or revolutionary. Humanity will go on. The Earth will go on. Celine Dion's heart will go on. I will go on.<br />
<br />
And if I don't--if I simply dissolve into what actually does exist, whether I know about it or not--that doesn't matter either. There's nothing to be upset about. There's no reason for concern. <br />
<br />
I'm here now. That's all I have.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-82710019314628079412012-11-22T00:27:00.001-08:002012-11-22T00:27:24.154-08:00<div><p>Oh, Lady, it's all meaningless.</p>
</div>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-46293109282020507802012-04-23T18:08:00.001-07:002014-08-18T10:32:42.565-07:00In Which I Ponder Sadness Magnets<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When
I was in college, there was a commons area in the downstairs of the
library. There was a Starbucks, eatery and a computer help desk.
Tables lined either side of a large walkway. I was sitting there one
day when a young man sat down and said, “Hi. I just need to tell
someone this,” and proceeded to tell me about a situation with a
classmate that was really bothering him. “So if you hear someone
say anything about it, tell them what I really think, okay?” He
then got up and I never spoke to him again. </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The
next year, a similar thing happened in the same place, where someone
I didn't know sat down with me and proceeded to tell me things he
“couldn't tell anyone he knew,” for well over an hour.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And
right before I moved, a random woman outside the library stopped and
talked to me for a bit about losing her son the month prior. </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The
first month I moved to Lansing, I was walking home one day and
noticed baby sparrows preparing to leave the nest. A woman walked
up, and watched the birds with me, and then started talking about the
Illuminati and secret government. We talked conspiracy theories for
awhile, and then she shared her personal woes and concerns. We sat
on the sidewalk and talked for two hours. I hugged her good-bye and
never saw her again.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Yesterday,
the bus detoured around my usual stop. I was all excited to go home
and eat some Greek yogurt, but as I crossed Washington Square, I
suddenly decided to go to Jimmy John's. When I entered, I saw the
young woman on the other side of the restaurant and somehow knew she
was going to talk to me. I ordered my sandwich, sat down, took two
bites, and she came and sat with me. She talked with me for four
hours—super personal topics mostly focusing on genetics, mental
health, depression and eventually began to touch on religious beliefs
(which I consider having a massive impact on someone's mental well
being). I hugged her good night, knowing that she probably hasn't
been hugged in weeks or maybe even months, and that she definitely
needed a nice hug.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I
<i>know </i>that I have a pattern of
being drawn to deeply sad people, and can relate to despair and
hopelessness. Maybe I'm just chock full of defense mechanisms,
disallowing me to get lost in it any more, mostly because there's
nothing particularly sad to be caught up in. If I believed people
could go to hell and God was a petty tyrant that required people to
buy their way into heaven with slavish obedience, yeah, maybe I would
be ridiculously depressed too. I was, when I believed that. But I
did get angry about it, refusing to accept that concept of God as
Divine. If I, as a human, can be “better” than the Christian
concept of God, then God is severely lacking. I won't accept a less
than perfect Divinity. I don't view logic and faith as counter to
one another. If the basic suppositions about the nature of the world
are different, all the things people believe can only be believed in
through faith are not only possible, but <i>probable.</i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That's
the lucky thing, I suppose. I've never been able to really accept
that God requires us to be any certain way, or to say certain things,
or to not do this or that. What else could there be but God? Why
would God require us to sacrifice or suffer? That's not freedom, and
a truly loving God would allow us to be free. Free to make mistakes,
and to correct our errors in thought; to learn and remember. To wake
from our strange slumberous dream. We're already perfect; we just
don't see ourselves that way.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When
I began to consider these things, everything in my life changed. I
think her life would be changed if she considered these things. But
it's not for me to push. I can offer when asked, but I know that
people who believe they are right and everyone else is wrong have a
tendency to disregard the difficult, giving an answer about God's
mystery or the audacity of human pride. Everyone has the right to be
confused. If we <i>knew</i>
how things really were, the illusion of choice would fade into
nothing. There is no arguing with reality; there are no choices to
be made.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It
is no wonder that such great sorrow coils itself within many of us.
The greatest gift a belief in Divinity can give is the knowledge that
one is loved, and most of us just don't feel it.</span></div>
G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-67918198380573679112011-10-22T05:48:00.000-07:002011-10-22T05:48:03.075-07:00I feel so closeI keep feeling like I am right on the verge of opening my eyes and seeing nothing but Divinity, shedding this illusory dream consciousness and opening awareness to the vast perfection beyond. I am tired of interacting with others based on my fear or their fear. Every single thing is related to through love. There can be no other relationship, as fear separates, shuts out, refuses to see. <br />
<br />
If we react with anything but pure acceptance or pure love, we are displaying our belief in separation as well as our belief that something is not "good enough" for us. Why else would we shield off our love from anything? When we feel we must protect ourselves, we are showing that we believe not only that we are being attacked, but that we can be damaged. It is entirely a false system of thought.<br />
<br />
Many of us do things in an attempt to manipulate others to our whim, believing we are doing it as an expression of love. When you give up something to please someone else, you are attempting to buy their acceptance, stave off some imagined downfall. When we sacrifice things to try to please God, we are trying to buy our way into Heaven. No wonder our religions are fraught with guilt. But we do this within our personal relationships as well, with someone else's acceptance as a pale replacement for that of God's.<br />
<br />
Every rejection, avoidance, or feeling of hesitation displays our belief that we are unworthy of love. What can we withhold from someone else that we aren't withholding from ourselves? We cannot be free in such a state. We are here because we believe we are individuals, but to be separated from our Source is to cut off our wings?yet still try to fly. We cannot be individuals, because we cannot be divided. We are whole, and the only way to be whole is to be One. Our belief that we are something other than what we are is the cause of every tiny bit of pain we believe we experience.<br />
<br />
We rejected God. God cannot reject us, because God does not recognize the concept of Otherness. How can you, when you are All That Is?G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-62297947419025093512011-09-10T21:43:00.000-07:002011-09-10T22:00:35.551-07:00Amazing book<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I've been following David Wilcock's work for three or four years now, and I can safely say that his new book, <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Source-Field-Investigations-Civilizations-Prophecies/dp/0525952047/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315716406&sr=1-1">The Source Field Investigations</a></span></span> blows everything else he's done--or that anyone else has done--straight out of the water. <br /><br />And I'm not even done with it yet.<br /><br />The evidence is brought together into a cohesive, magnificent picture that points, on no uncertain terms, the greatest mystery currently unknown to mankind and shows a greater image than I thought science could ever show--but does, right here in this lovely book. <br /><br />It's so much information, and so easy to comprehend, explaining anomaly after anomaly in a way that not only makes sense but points toward the practical applications--when Wilcock speaks of the blueprints for a Golden Age, that is not hyperbole. This understanding of the physical/mental/spiritual can literally transform life on Earth, if we take it and use it.<br /><br />To say "we are all connected," is an understatement. There really is only one thing in this multiverse, and we are it.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-13666689845331126672011-03-22T13:25:00.000-07:002011-03-22T13:32:33.497-07:00Scott Mandelker InterviewI know it's rough and full of stop/pause/redos, but Mandelker is always good to listen to :)<br /><br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/p/0AD631D2166FA417?hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/p/0AD631D2166FA417?hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-29335257219643037252009-05-12T13:53:00.000-07:002009-05-12T13:56:46.211-07:00Extraterrrestrial Influences?At work the other day, I stumbled upon a discussion one dude was having with another regarding a Creationist who believed that if you didn’t believe the Earth was X years old, you just didn’t have the right religion. After listening for a little while, one of them said something that spurred me to give the remark, “I think the Bible is all about aliens. Ezekiel carried into heaven by a wheel of fire? Yeah, UFO.”<br /><br />There was laughter, as I meant for there to be, just by the way I said it, but at the same time I meant it. The Old Testament makes far more sense to me in the context of extraterrestrial interaction. Moses saw God’s back, remember, and God walked in the garden of Eden and did not know where Adam and Eve were. Pretty weird. Pillar of fire by night, smoke by day? Parting water and whatnot? With an understanding and ability to manipulate electromagnetism or perhaps sonic technology, would these things really be so hard? The Ark of the Covenant seemed to contain something pretty magnificent, and people were supposed to wear particular gear and whatnot to approach it, otherwise they died.<br /><br />I don’t however, think the entity known as the Christ used physical technology to alter the world about him. I believe his technology was the mental/spiritual understanding of the interdimensional nature of himself and reality. I think this because Jesus is not the only person to operate in the Christ state of awareness. Many people have experiences which are not physically measureable or explainable in the materialistic model of reality, yet they are fairly common. Less common are the accounts of chi mastery, levitation, telepathy, telekinesis, instantaneous healing, stigmata, people who need not eat or drink for years, and so on. These things are possible with realization and greater awareness of the energy matrix within which we operate. When it comes down to it, we don’t really know what we are. Our foundational beliefs about this are afloat in an ocean of potentials and possibilities.<br /><br />The missing link or leap in our evolutionary history points also points to external influences. Whether this is because of galactic cycles, or because of manipulation of the genome, I couldn’t say. I’m leaning toward a combination of galactic cycle to bring about the primate form, and then genetic manipulation to create the current sapiens form a shorter while ago.<br /><br />The cycle I refer to is one discovered by a pair of paleontologists from the University of Chicago, Raup and Sepkoski. They discovered that every 26 million years, the marine fossil record shows that there are massive die-offs, and the species of Earth make spontaneous evolutionary leaps. The researchers tried to dismiss it and figure it out of their data, and it does seem like there were two consecutive cycles where it was skipped (this was just in the marine fossil record) but it persisted regularly over the 250 million year span they looked over. [http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/abstract/81/3/801]<br /><br />The graph shows extinction followed by a spike of new species appearing in the seabed. There is a lack of Earth cataclysms to support the idea that massive die-offs are caused by asteroids and whatnot.<br /><br />And then, from Berkeley, Robert Rohde discovered an even larger cycle of 62 million years, which he explained in Nature [http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v434/n7030/abs/nature03339.html].<br /><br /><br />The Rohde cycle is about every 62 million years, give or take 3 million. We’re at 65 million years since the last—and yeah, it could be 5,000 years in the future, but right now, we’re in the midst of a major die off. We haven’t seen extinction rates like this, and it isn’t just because of humanity. Frogs are dying off from a widespread fungus that has appeared everywhere in the world, not just in pockets of isolation, which strikes me as simply weird.<br /><br />There are a lot of people in the alternate/New Age group who think it’s planet X causing these changes (based on Zecharia Sitchin’s work with Sumerian myth that speaks of a planet that sweeps through our orbit every ~3500 years) but the gravitational flux from a single planet would have little sway on the sun but a possibly catastrophic effect on other planets. Perhaps the planet people have been expecting was actually the massive comet the size of Jupiter that swung through our solar system in 2003 so close to the sun it was inside Mercury’s orbit.<br /><br />The gravitational influence of this massive body should have pulled the planets out of their orbits, yet it had little to no noticeable effect, which is physically impossible. The comet itself wasn’t well publicized, probably because it would have panicked people, since we potentially could have collided with it. There are pictures and whatnot of it online. (Is this the same comet that seems to be a fulfillment of Hopi prophecy? To appear as a blue star, the comet would have had to have been between us and the sun to have its tail aligned with its core. This comet was in and out of our solar system in a matter of days. Huge and unimaginably fast.)<br /><br />This brings us back to the extraterrestrial influence operating in our solar system. If one had the technology, one could potentially shield the gravitational influence of such an object and protect a solar system and a planet full of life from too much disturbance.<br /><br />A lot of people, including one of the chaps I mentioned earlier, think there’s no reason for extraterrestrials to visit us. If they thought the way most Earthlings think, perhaps not. But I think about it this way. If they were able to develop a way to travel all the way to Earth before destroying themselves, chances are their ideas about life are going to be far different from ours. I think a lot of our science fiction may not be so far off from reality. It’s pretty easy to ask yourself, “if you were an advanced civilization, how would you interact with a less evolved one?” Personally, I think I’d institute something like Star Trek’s prime directive or Star Ocean’s UP3 (Underdeveloped Planet Protection Pact) to not openly influence the overall evolution of the planet so that the people can grow and learn on their own—unless they are about to be wiped out, either by their own doing or by some outside event.<br /><br />I move worms from the sidewalk because worms don’t have the perspective to see that the sidewalk is a path of worm-death, just as many Earthlings seem to lack the perspective to see that selfishness, greed and war is a path of Earth-death.<br /><br />This isn’t to say that all the people who may have visited us have our best interests in mind. According to the Sumerian script Sitchin translated, the Annunaki created the human form to be able to mine gold for their Annunaki overlords. The Elohim of the Old Testament created man and demanded worship and strict rules to be followed, overseeing and enforcing their own laws, wiping out towns with blasts akin to nuclear strikes, killing the firstborn in the homes unmarked with the blood of a lamb. Currently, there are supposedly groups who have provided Earth’s negative elite with technologies to assist them in keeping others willingly oppressed.<br /><br />Yet there are eyewitness military accounts that hovering lights have somehow rendered warheads inert and powered down nuclear facilities. Perhaps these are the same entities who have assigned themselves as our protectors and guardians, giving those of us who care to search clues toward understanding the nature of reality, encoded into the geometrical formations that appear in our crops. Perhaps they are what we have to look forward to in our next step of evolution, which seems to be fast approaching. It is no surprise that the structures people have given their lives over to are breaking down and being restructured. It may seem like a step back, but we’re making room for the running start to the leap of consciousness and corresponding form we are about to take.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-19050392773796988392009-01-31T08:44:00.000-08:002009-01-31T08:45:32.988-08:00Dimensions of Consciousness<p class="MsoNormal">In geometry, there first comes a singularity or point.<span style=""> </span>A dot we draw to represent it is merely a representation and approximation, being totally arbitrary.<span style=""> </span>It Exists, but does not Experience, for there is nothing else to experience.<span style=""> </span>Thus, it is not Aware of itself.<span style=""> </span>A point could be placed anywhere within the matrix, or it could be the entire matrix itself, undifferentiated.<span style=""> </span>This is the 0 dimension.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Next comes another point, and the space between them becomes a line. One point represents Observer and one represents Observed.<span style=""> </span>Here is differentiation.<span style=""> </span>There is the potential to be Aware and Experience, but may only experience the Eternal Observed, not necessarily recognizing that there is an Observer.<span style=""> </span>This is the 1 dimension.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Next comes another point, and now there are Two to experience where before there was only one.<span style=""> </span>The experience of Time begins, for the Observer can experience point one, Then point two.<span style=""> </span>A <b style="">line</b> of Experience begins. This is the 2<sup> </sup>dimension.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the third dimension, Experience takes <b style="">form.</b><span style=""> </span>Distinct forms allow the Observer to experience Self as a form itself, and although it has been capable of experiencing Self in earlier dimensions, it is far easier to experience self-distinction when witnessing the experiences and self-distinction of the Other.<span style=""> </span>This is the realm of the physical.</p> While in the third dimension, it is difficult to explain or experience the fourth dimension, as it would be difficult to explain to a triangle on a flat plane that there is an up and a down in addition to its usually experienced forward, back, left and right.<span style=""> </span>As in the third dimension, we can see the whole of a two-dimensional figure, in the fourth dimension, we could see the whole of a being, not just physically, inside and out, but the entire lifetime throughout Time as well. As some earth formations can be seen in their entirety from the sky, so is an individual consciousness seen from a fourth dimensional perspective. This allows for the development of compassion, understanding and eventually wisdom.<br /><br />Time itself can be experienced as a three-dimensional structure which we do not experience in our perception of space-time. Although in space-time we have traced a line forward in time, in time-space, we can experience the alternate choices that could have been made at any point.<br /><br />From here, I <span _fcktemp="1"></span>do not have the experiences or language with which to project higher dimensions, but this is what it seems happens: The consciousness develops in a way that allows it to recognize all Other as Self. When the consciousness expands to include its experiences, the singular consciousness dissolves into an inclusion of all. After being many, the Self becomes One, or Unified, and from an awareness of Being All-That-Is, the Observer recognizes itself as the entire interdimensional sphere, which can also be seen as the first point in 0d. <br /><br />I <span _fcktemp="1"></span>imagine a return to the non-dual undifferentiated state for the cycle to begin anew, if that's what happens, but it doesn't matter. In this cosmology, there is an infinity of possibility. Within a the sphere of existence, anything can occur. The sphere can expand infinitely outward and contract infinitely inward. Our scientists spend a lot of time trying to smash particles into finer and finer pieces without recognizing that they will always be able to divide further and expand further.<br /><br />Our universe, in its various dimensions and densities of background energy is a macrocosm, of which our solar system, planets and bodies are microcosms. At the level of awareness of the universe, it also experiences itself as a microcosm of a greater macro. There is always greater expansion and finer focus in the fractal spiral of our existence in this galaxy and universe.<br /><br />Although it has not been stated, it is implied that consciousness is a fundamental constituent of existence. The energy which fills space is itself conscious, from light to the gravitic tendencies of our universe, and that is what we are. Our experiences arise from this field; our consciousness shapes it. Remember that our galaxy is moving through space, and our sun is moving through the galaxy, and our planet is moving around the solar system. We have traced a line through space which we have never happened over twice. Every instance exists in space-time/time-space as its own, unique experience.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-76181928754796934752009-01-21T10:55:00.000-08:002009-01-21T11:51:13.518-08:00NeglectI have taken what seems to be a meaningful step--not that it will really affect me much, but it does answer a great many questions I've lived with about my tendencies and peculiarities. Let's see.<br /><br />--At the age of four/five, I had a transcendent experience where I witnessed what I called "God" while trying to imagine how big God would have to be to encompass the planet, solar system, galaxy and universe. I slipped sideways/in-between and witnessed an interdimensional sphere of sorts that was composed of funnels all expanding infinitely outward and collapsing infinitely inward. My young mind tried to explain it to my mom as a giant ball of tinfoil that was being crushed but remained the same size.<br /><br />--I saw lights and faces, animals and creatures that weren't physically there often as a child, and had dreams about angels and speaking fantastical animals. <br /><br />--Around age 6 or 7, my cousin was spending the night and we were sleeping on the floor because it was too hot to be much higher in the room. A quietly crackling ball of light came down the hallway, made a ninety degree turn and floated through my room at a steady pace, passing through the window. My cousin screamed, afraid, but I held her down so she didn't accidentally run into it. I yelled to my mom that there was a light in my room, and my mom said it was probably just heat lightning. I thought it was heat lightning for about ten more years until mom commented about the heat lightning on a television show. I thought it might have been ball lightning, but ball lightning doesn't make ninety degree turns that happen to coincide with doorways.<br /><br />--I imagined very clearly that I had been on UFOs but not as an abductee, rather because I was their child and belonged there. In conversations, we'd be talking about different planets, and I'd say something to the effect of "well, where did you <span style="font-style: italic;">think</span> I was from?" I looked up at the night sky and demanded to know why I was there and why I couldn't go <span style="font-style: italic;">home.</span><br /><br />--About 80% of the stories I've ever written have had to do with the main character ending up in another world, being someone of great importance there.<br /><br />--Rivermist, the trilogy I've been working on, deals with a group of souls reincarnating together, but not remembering where they came from or why. As a result, the main character is often alienated and different from those around him, finding power struggles and squabbling for worldly powers ridiculous. When he meets others from his soul group, it feels like coming home. These souls are obligated to finish a round of incarnations on each planet they visit once they've entered its physicality. It is an obligation they choose.<br /><br /> ----the antagonist in the series describes himself as an angel of the goddess, fulfilling a sacred duty by providing hardships for others to learn from. He is one of the same group as the other characters, one of their sibling souls.<br /><br />----in a later story, one of the character looks at the other and says "you know you're not <span style="font-style: italic;">from</span> here, but you have a reason for being here."<br /><br />----the character is described as a wanderer specifically because he's always on the move, trying to find some place that feels like <span style="font-style: italic;">home.</span><br /><br />--Everyone who I have been particularly close to, who understands this obscure, strange, existential longing also has the feeling that they're here for a specific reason and that something BIG is coming in his/her lifetime. <br /><br />--I've read books like "Wanderer Handbook" by Carla Rueckert and listened to countless descriptions of Wanderers--entities who have come to Earth to help out with their higher frequencies of energy--from David Wilcock, Scott Mandelker and other Law of One scholars.<br /><br />And finally, after thinking for many years that perhaps I just try to excuse my feeling of difference as a defense mechanism to help explain it away better, after reading Scott Mandelker's <span style="font-style: italic;">From Elsewhere</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Being E.T. in America</span>, I've finally thought, okay. I'm a Wanderer. I've been through all this before. I've lived on other planets, and maybe I'll be able to go back there sometime. It changes nothing about how I live my life whatsoever, but it does give me that little bit of assurance and relief that makes the loneliness and longing for those I've left behind far more understandable. <br /><br />Yet, it really doesn't matter, because we're all One, all souls evolving, seeking to reunify once again with the All, of which we are. Every moment has the capability to be the Eternal Now. All things have the capability to be experienced as an exquisite facet of that One. <br /><br />Peace, light and love to all other selves.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-44894267146552582182008-11-12T13:58:00.000-08:002008-11-12T13:59:09.470-08:00What is love?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; "><p style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">I use the concept of “Love” a lot in my thoughts, equating it with All-That-Is, but I don’t know if many people share my definition of Love.<span> </span>When I mean Love, I mean experiencing unconditional acceptance of that being, be it a person, a planet, a star, a universe—yourself.<span> <br /><br /></span><a name="cutid1"></a>I mean fearless, open, free expression and joy that is ever-new because the Now presents the one constant within Time:<span> </span>Change.<span> </span>Each moment is a fresh opportunity in which to Be, and nothing is ever exactly the same.<span> </span>There is movement, constant movement, and where there is no movement, there is Nothing.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">When there is no fear, this is where Love dwells.<span> </span>And because that which exists can neither be created nor destroyed, there is nothing to fear.<span> </span>The difference between fear and Love often is simply <i>knowing.</i><span> </span>When I am afraid, I remind myself that it is because I have forgotten what I am, and that is not the face I wear or the feelings I experience or the thoughts I think I think.<span> </span>What I am is at once Experiencer and Experienced, and yet I am neither of these things because there is no true distinction between Self and Other.<span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">Quantum entanglement is a property of matter in which particles that were once close to one another share simultaneous reactions even if they are moved far apart.<span> </span>If we believe in the Big Bang, all particles are entangled.<span> </span>If we believe they are arising from a Unified Field, then we are literally One thing, pinches in the fabric of space-time.<span> </span>This is why fear is so detrimental to us.<span> </span>It traces lines of imagined separation between us when in reality we are a unified whole, perfectly balanced, lacking nothing.<span> </span>What we fear are literally illusions, because we are a single, dancing That-Which-Is.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">When we say, in bliss, “nothing matters,” it is not a expression of despair and the sense that the self can do nothing.<span> </span>It is a statement of recognition that regardless of what appears to happen in this world, the Self remains unfettered and unconditionally accepting, looking upon everything as perfect expressions of That-Which-Is.<span> </span>We only see things as imperfect when we see something as other than What-It-Is.<span> </span>If a plate is broken, we see it as flawed because we are thinking of it as a plate rather than a broken plate, of which it is a perfect expression.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">I once saw that Love meant never saying “no.”<span> </span>This is not a statement made from a state of mind in which one saw its Self or any other Self with anything to lose, with the possibility of damage or end.<span> </span>This was said knowing that while the particles that compose the rock are moving about, vibrating, never the same, the rock remained the same from the outside.<span> </span>Outside of time, looking at the great sea of all possibilities of That-Which-Is, Ever Was, and Ever <i>Could</i> Be, there is the awareness that Change is also an illusion, because the foundation upon which all motion occurs is fundamentally unaltered.<span> </span>From that perspective, there is no reason to ever say “no,” because everything is just as preferable as nothing else, and it ultimately has no effect on the self.<span> </span>This frees us to unconditionally accept and treasure each experience as a sacred one, whether the self watches itself experience great joy or great agony.</p>We often seek things that are actually side effects.<span> </span>We seek true love, but often don’t know how to make ourselves truly loving.<span> </span><i>If limitation is ever sought to be placed on another being, we fall short of being truly loving.<span> </span></i>We often mourn our losses and experience deep emotional pain as a result of our expectation’s failure to be met.<span> </span>Here is another part of love:<span> </span>unattachment.<span> </span>This is different from <i>detachment.</i><span> </span>If love is dependent upon the meeting of your expectations, it is not unconditional, not <i>free.</i><span> </span>If we experience separation from those we love, it is due to our lack of awareness of our unity.<span> </span>This doesn’t have anything to do with some separate God somewhere <i>out there.</i><span> </span>The only Divinity you will ever know is the Self within, the Self we misappropriate thoughts and feelings to, personalities and forms.<span> </span>The Self and All-That-Is are One Perfect Be-ing, unlimited, eternal, infinite.</span>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-16278749976851394232008-11-12T13:57:00.001-08:002008-11-12T13:58:26.899-08:00Why is nudity considered sexual?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; "><p style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">I have <em>finally </em>figured out why it is strange to me that nudity is considered sexually arousing!<span> </span>Finally!<br /><a name="cutid1"></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">All right.<span> </span>Imagine a society where everyone is entirely naked all of the time.<span> </span>People never wear clothes except maybe if they want some protection from the environment or something, or if it gets a little chilly, throw a blanket on or something.<span> </span>In this sort of place, people aren’t going to make a big deal out of seeing some breasts or pubic hair, because they’d be constantly surrounded by them, and kids aren’t going to be tittering among one another that “boys have penises and girls have vaginas.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">It is precisely because we have been taught that our bodies and sexualities are shameful and sinful and that they should be hidden when one is past a certain age, that we have strip clubs and issues of People magazine where the best and worst bodies of 2008 are showcased.<span> </span>Fear and rejection have caused dysfunction to an enormous degree, but we are so used to it we think of the customs of our culture as being just fine.<span> </span>Imagine explaining the purpose of a strip joint to someone from a place where the women rarely wear anything but something to hold their hair back.<span> </span>Chances are, they will see such an establishment as ridiculous.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">Now imagine this culture without mirrors, where a person doesn’t think about his or herself in terms of a face or a form but instead as a heart and mind, of one who loves and is loved, one who does things and is things that have nothing to do with the shape of one’s features or the clothing one wears.<span> </span>Would these people define themselves more by their interactions with others than by the clothing style one prefers?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">We are a culture obsessed with appearances because we have been taught to hide so much.<span> </span>And when we do reveal ourselves, we hope and pray that it’s good enough for the other person to accept, where, in a culture that hides little, certainly not one’s natural form, we are already accepted and desired just as we are—body, mind, heart, whatever.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">So many of us think small tribes halfway around the world are backwards and primitive when it is we who pass great immaturity on from generation to generation and do such damage to each other we spend large portions of our lives trying to undo what we learned as children as we grow into an uncomfortable adulthood.<span> </span>Does this make sense?<span> </span>Does this work well for us?<span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">Why should we spend so much of our time trying to appear superficially attractive?<span> </span>Do we really want people to be superficially attracted to us?<span> </span>Why are we so busy trying to hide ourselves from one another?<span> </span>Why are we still clinging to customs that not only do not serve us but damage our psyches?<span> </span>Are we, who have been made to feel inadequate, less worthy or rejected by our society’s<i>customs</i> going to continue to promulgate (holy crap that’s a word.<span> </span>It’s even the RIGHT word!) these entirely fictitious “truths” onto ourselves and others?<span> </span>Are we going to enforce the separations that keep us from experiencing great intimacy when that deep connection is what we really crave deep down beneath it all?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; font-size: small; ">When we continue what we have been given, we are merely replicating, not creating.<span> </span>When we are given the answers to our questions, we cease to seek and find and grow as a result.<span> </span>Machines replicate with the information they are given.<span> </span>Only life can expand its former boundaries and extend into unexplored expressions of itself.<span></span></p>I’m not saying we should all become nudists or anything of the sort.<span> </span>It usually doesn’t work well to compensate for one thing by going to the opposite extreme.<span> </span>When I behold a human form without cloth draped about it, male or female, I do admire its shape, I do admire the flow of lines and the unique symmetries or asymmetries—the human form is pleasing to whatever aesthetic we have instilled within our senses.<span> </span>But I do not imagine that by this show of skin I have gained intimacy, and the person has not become objectified or sexualized in my imaginings because it’s not the body I wish to experience connection with.</span>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-19738480599831320102008-11-05T15:11:00.000-08:002008-11-05T15:12:37.865-08:00Study of discontentment<p class="MsoNormal">Today, it’s time for an inner questioning exercise.<span style=""> </span>This is something I do, usually just in my head, any time I catch myself experiencing a situation of my own creation that is not serving my highest goals.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Through the repeated processes of examination, I have taught myself how to consciously control my emotional reactions to all manner of unpleasantness.<span style=""> </span>It’s easier to do with pleasurable emotions, because one thought can deflate jubilation.<span style=""> </span>This is how I figured out how to control emotion in the first place.<span style=""> </span>This, misused, can lead to suppression, so it’s important to really reflect upon yourself honestly.<span style=""> </span>No one else can do inner work for you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been feeling rather discontent lately, and, because discontentment is something I would consider stemming from ignorance of the perfection, I’ll work through the feeling until I understand it.<span style=""> </span>So, why do I feel discontent?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The most basic answer to this is usually going to be because I feel separated from All-That-Is, cut off from Divine glory.<span style=""> </span>I have been oscillating between feeling pleased and loving to feeling out of sorts and rather blah.<span style=""> </span>This is because my preferences are being intruded upon, which is pretty rare, since I tend to be lacking in the preference department.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b style=""><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="">I feel like I don’t have enough time to do what I want to do.<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I got a job a couple weeks ago after about nine months of unemployment, which was good, because I had about three dollars left in my bank account and I was temporarily deferred from plasma donating because my protein count was too low.<span style=""> </span>I was unable to pay all of my bills by myself, but my mom and my roommate helped me out.<span style=""> </span>While having enough money to pay for everything now is awesome, it creates a time, attention and energy suck that leaves me having to stay up late to write and get up without feeling fully rested, which isn’t good for remembering dreams or practicing astral projection.<span style=""> </span>Alarm clocks are horrible, horrible inventions.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Part of feeling like there’s not enough time leads me to be really disinterested in being social, and when you live with someone it makes relating to them rather precarious.<span style=""> </span>I have to feel as though there is enough time for everything in order to remain free from preoccupation, so when I get home and my roommate wants to hang out, I put aside what I want to do, which is write for twelve hours until I have to go back to work.<span style=""> </span>Another issue having this job brings up is:</p> <p class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b style=""><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="">My life feels horribly mundane.<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jobs do not go anywhere.<span style=""> </span>Unless you’re ambitious about some sort of work-related goal, I guess.<span style=""> </span>The main thing I like about my job is that I help people find what they want.<span style=""> </span>Seriously, that’s what I like about it.<span style=""> </span>I move grocery inventory about a store, and the best part is helping people out.<span style=""> </span>I also really like looking for things on the shelves and finding them.<span style=""> </span>There’s a short moment of “ah!<span style=""> </span>There it is!” every time I find something new.<span style=""> </span>The other day I was stocking tea, and I looked at a particularly lovely box design and realized “oh, that’s me, pretending to be tea.”<span style=""> </span>And the tea became a marvel to behold.<span style=""> </span>That’s not mundane.<span style=""> </span>I am constantly surrounded by opportunities to experience greater consciousness and awareness, so that’s something profound and enjoyable.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The reason I am working, however, is to pay my bills and save up to move.<span style=""> </span>Living towards something in the future is decidedly uncomfortable for me.<span style=""> </span>I really enjoy being in school, and I’m no longer in it.<span style=""> </span>For the several months after I graduated and sought work, I grew enormously in leaps and bounds.<span style=""> </span>My inner peace and understanding multiplied at a fantastic rate.<span style=""> </span>It was <i style="">awesome</i>.<span style=""> </span>Now, I read on my lunch breaks and write in all other free time that is not consumed with socializing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It might actually be the socializing that makes my life seem mundane, actually.<span style=""> </span>I do not share moments of amazement and wonder with other people, and it feels a bit empty.<span style=""> </span>Socializing is full of distraction, from movies and video games to idle banter.<span style=""> </span>The things I really enjoy is when we get into a conversation about spiritual stuffs, but it comes so very rarely, and at this point, I feel like I am constantly repeating myself.<span style=""> </span>What else is there to say, though?<span style=""> </span>We are one.<span style=""> </span>We are a glorious ever shifting life-being.<span style=""> </span>Not many people seem to <i style="">get</i> it.<span style=""> </span>Or they understand it logically but haven’t experienced it to really grok the implications.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps it is not so much that life feels mundane as much as it feels lacking in something that isn’t vital, but it would revitalize me.<span style=""> </span>I may live too much for other people, and I don’t mean that in a “oh I’m always volunteering and helping out etc. etc. etc.” because I don’t.<span style=""> </span>But I do put down everything I feel is important to me at any moment to help someone else out, unless what feels important is another person, and I let other people interfere with my natural reactions.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">For example, today a guy’s car stalled while he was trying to turn.<span style=""> </span>My instinct was to run up and help him push his car back, out of the middle of the street, but my roommate was with me and I went with my roommate’s preference rather than my own, which was to keep walking on by.<span style=""> </span>I think it was a valuable opportunity that I missed out on, and it illustrates for me all the other opportunities I’m missing because I defer to someone else’s preferences.<span style=""> </span>To live for the One Self, expressing its unity, is quite extraordinary, and if I am alive, I wish for my life to be extraordinary.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="">I feel increasingly isolated.</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is mostly because I’ve shifted so much in such a short amount of time.<span style=""> </span>Every person in my life is a truly wonderful being, but some conversations and “entertainments” have become rancid to my tongue.<span style=""> </span>Talk of violence or disrespect of any kind, even meant in jest, actually disturb me, when not so long ago, I would have joined in.<span style=""> </span>It’s just not who I am anymore, yet I can still see it as being perfect in each moment, as an expression of Infinity.<span style=""> </span>This greatly increases my ability to accept it and love its existence without shunning its form.<span style=""> </span>Without contrasts, we would be far less sure about Who/What we are at any given moment.<span style=""> </span>We define ourselves by these comparisons.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">By my feeling isolated (although I understand that I am never anything but Everything), it shows that I am not realizing my unity.<span style=""> </span>It’s easier to see the divine in a stranger sometimes than it is in someone you know fairly well, because with someone you know well, the ego and “me-me-me” feeling takes up a lot of your perspective at any given time.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">These three discontentments all come from the same feeling, that there isn’t enough of this or that, which is simply not true.<span style=""> </span>Not enough time?<span style=""> </span>I wrote over 50,000 words in the month of October, fifty of those seventy pages in the last two weeks alone.<span style=""> </span>Not enough wonder?<span style=""> </span>It’s up to me to seek the amazement, the wonder, and the sacredness in every moment.<span style=""> </span>Not enough connection?<span style=""> </span>There is nothing <i style="">but</i> connection.<span style=""> </span>There is no use in focusing on how alone I sometimes feel, especially when I am doing nothing to alleviate that feeling.<span style=""> </span>I’ve been kicking around the idea for a weekly meditation/discussion group oriented toward a Spirituality of Oneness, that instead of rejecting any religion, would embrace it, and I’ve been thinking about it for well over a year, but I’ve done <i style="">nothing </i>about this idea, and I don’t think the idea came from my conscious self.<span style=""> </span>How better to meet those with similar interests than to create a space for them to gather?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It does not matter that in the past I have been quiet and introverted.<span style=""> </span>The time for apathy has come to an end.<span style=""> </span></p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-59285977490248405392008-10-14T08:50:00.000-07:002008-10-14T08:52:08.383-07:00The graduated layers of reality<p class="MsoNormal">At the ultimate level, there is nothing happening.<span style=""> </span>It could even be incorrect to say there’s only one being, because that one being would be no being, all of everything is nothing.<span style=""> </span>On the levels at which we are, there seems to be a lot going on.<span style=""> </span>It corresponds with the metaphor of the rock.<span style=""> </span>From the outside, it looks like a pretty constant form, just sitting there, nothing going on.<span style=""> </span>But at a very small level we can see that there is no stillness.<span style=""> </span>Molecules and atoms are constantly shifting about, vibrating, spinning, all that.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What truly exists is unknowable, yet it is all there is to know.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are multiple layers of existence, different planes populated with entities and we are evolving.<span style=""> </span>All things are evolving, but the wheel itself remains unchanged.<span style=""> </span>At each level the truth appears to be different.<span style=""> </span>We adopt systems when they are useful, but we grow beyond them.<span style=""> </span>Each may contain truth, but none of them can be perfect truth as long as there is a distorted mind attempting understanding.<span style=""> </span>We must not fear to leave behind the systems which no longer serve us, for they are approximations and theories, understandings limited within a certain framework. <span style=""></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Here in the world we are currently in, we may say things like “might is right” or “survival of the fittest.”<span style=""> </span>And these approaches have served us, but our clinging to them hinder us from evolving to a higher stage, in which we make ourselves strong by empowering others, in which we recognize every being as equally deserving as we, rendering the idea of “deserving” anything into an absurdity.<span style=""> </span>To cling to our old ideas is to ignore the rising level of our consciousness, or attempt to bring it down a peg or two.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet at another level, there is nothing anyone needs to do, ever.<span style=""> </span>In this sense, we are all free, while others find this idea to be a curse, leaving them afloat in a sea of limited potentials.<span style=""> </span>We do not need to hang on to anything.<span style=""> </span>We can let go of all things and simply be.</p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-30454455626215882922008-10-08T18:52:00.000-07:002008-10-08T19:06:31.669-07:002012: The hullabaloo<p class="MsoNormal">Whether the Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012 or February 19, 2013, here's what the hullabaloo is about, as I understand it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As the Law of One material goes, for channeled material, it pretty much rocks the house.<span style=""> </span>Channeled from 1981-84 by Carla Rueckert, Jim McCarthy and Don Elkins, the Law of One material is a series of questions and answers spanning multiple sessions and five books.<span style=""> </span>The entity Rueckert channeled called itself Ra (yes, the original Ra of the Egyptians before it got all twisted about and reinterpreted).<span style=""> </span>Ra describes itself as a sixth density being, and describes the densities as what some would call dimensions (I find this a faulty definition of dimension).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ra describes the structure of our galaxy (or Logos) as having a structure similar to an octave in music or color.<span style=""> </span>Our planet Earth is currently undergoing a third density experience, but is in the process of transitioning to fourth density.<span style=""> </span>What is meant by "density" is that the aether underlying physical reality has a sort of background radiant field, and the background field has a differing vibratory rate in different places in space.<span style=""> </span>Earth (and our solar system) is moving into space that is more energetically dense than the space we are leaving behind.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It seems as though the transition we are undergoing, which is causing NASA observed changes in our solar system (everything's getting hotter and brighter, not just the Earth), will be complete at the end of 2012/beginning of 2013.<span style=""> </span>This happens to coincide with the fact that the Earth will be aligned with a "path to the center of the galaxy."<span style=""> </span>What will happen when this transition is complete depends on who you ask.<span style=""> </span>Some folks think that we'll be more harmonious and that no big upheavals or cataclysms are coming, and some folks think it'll be a big deal like the rapture.<span style=""> </span>According to prophecy, we're looking at the birth of the next world or sun or the end of the Kali Yuga.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In third density reality, we are a jumble-mix of polarizations.<span style=""> </span>We're male and female, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, generous, miserly, loving, controlling, vengeful, considerate and so on.<span style=""> </span>Most of us haven't decided on one important issue, even after however many lives we’ve had here, one that Ra breaks down into service to others (STO) or service to self (STS).<span style=""> </span>You can work for the benefit of everyone, or you can work for the benefit of yourself, which usually includes some attempt at controlling others to give you what you want.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It's not like this in the higher densities.<span style=""> </span>The entities are divvied up depending on their polarity.<span style=""> </span>If you're 51% service to others or higher, you're fourth density positive, and if you're 95% service to self, you're fourth density negative.<span style=""> </span>This isn't to say one is better than the other, any more than the positive and negative poles of a magnet are any better than the other.<span style=""> </span>It doesn't matter.<span style=""> </span>When you hit 6D, it's the density of unity.<span style=""> </span>There are no more polarities.<span style=""> </span>Entities go to places they are harmonious with.<span style=""> </span>Fourth density negative beings go to a fourth density negative planet.<span style=""> </span>Simple.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fourth density, both positive and negative, is about love.<span style=""> </span>Love of others above self or love of self above others.<span style=""> </span>You don't have to be perfect at it.<span style=""> </span>You only have to be 51% STO or 95% STS for 4D.<span style=""> </span>The reason the STS percentage is so high is because 4D- is a pretty difficult thing to deal with.<span style=""> </span>You have to be ridiculously self-serving (98%) to get to 5D, after all.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I can't say that I believe any one interpretation or prediction, although, honestly, I am leaning towards David Wilcock's and Drunvalo Melchizedek's camps in thinking that this shift is going to change everything drastically, and I do mean <span style="font-style: italic;">drastically</span>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the Ra material there’s a little process known by the humbling term of “harvest.”<span style=""> </span>This is where the shift happens.<span style=""> </span>There have already been two harvests in the past on Earth, and in the first one, no one was harvested.<span style=""> </span>In the second there were those who were able to be harvested, but they remained on Earth to help out.<span style=""> </span>Recognizing how ridiculously few people were ready to be harvested to the next density, sixth, fifth, and fourth density beings volunteered to go to Earth in attempt to help out.<span style=""> </span>There are tons of them on Earth now, a few hundred million or so.<span style=""> </span>These entities, being in third density, which is subject to forgetting prior experiences, are remembering what they are, some more than others.<span style=""> </span>The goal here is to assist others in polarization to increase the harvest, or simply to be here to support the planet as it goes through the transition.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">If an entity is not polarized at the end of the planet’s three cycles in third density, then the entity will have to reincarnate on a third density planet.<span style=""> </span>The end of this cycle is different from the others because the Earth itself is shifting to 4D.<span style=""> </span>The planet would have to be moved to accommodate beings with a vibratory frequency disharmonious with the space Earth will soon be occupying for those souls to remain with the Earth, which isn’t going to happen.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The main thing to keep in mind is that nothing horrible is going to happen, not while we’re on the planet.<span style=""> </span>What you are cannot be harmed, for you are the infinite creator, eternal and whole.<span style=""> </span>That’s what the journey is all about.<span style=""> </span>The densities are just graduations of God-realization, and the higher the density the closer to recognizing your identity as the divine you are.<span style=""> </span>In reality, nothing is happening at all, and there’s only one of us here.</p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-19158839074289433242008-07-30T09:23:00.000-07:002008-07-30T09:24:47.888-07:00Beliefs: 1. An Ultimate Reality<p class="MsoNormal">So, since I started writing an exposition on faith and how it has somehow made itself a driving force in my life, <span style=""></span>I thought to list the things that I believed, things that seem to be ingrained within me so deeply that even though they, for the most part, were introduced through a logical deduction of experience and thought, now seem to be a matter of faith.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> 1. </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->An Ultimate reality, with a nature that is benevolent, infinite, and in many ways, indescribable.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is the one that comes from some innate belief that has been shaken only by the problem of what appeared to be unjust suffering.<span style=""> </span>This is the big one, which alienated me from many teachings of the church and interpretations of what Jesus had to say.<span style=""> </span>This is what got me angry with God.<span style=""> </span>If you’re supposed to be so loving, then why are there children starving, born into this world without a chance to survive while others grow fat with their abundance?<span style=""> </span>The answer to this is reincarnation, which I’ll get to in a moment.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m not sure where this belief came from, to be honest.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps my mom instilled some idea of love that was beyond anything I could ever hope to experience fully in me from birth or something.<span style=""> </span>Or maybe it came from an experience I had when I was about four.<span style=""> </span>For a kid, I was pretty hip on the God thing.<span style=""> </span>It was definitely brain food, as one night I was trying to imagine how huge God would have to be for everything that existed to be within him.<span style=""> </span>I’m not sure why I thought God would have to be bigger than everything that exists, but I did.<span style=""> </span>I started out small.<span style=""> </span>The Earth, the entire Earth, upon which I was a speck of unnoticeable sand, then the solar system—and then the galaxy, in which the gigantic Sun was a speck, and how many countless galaxies existed?<span style=""> </span>God would have to be huger than all of those things.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I felt myself sliding a little in a direction I’ve only felt once again.<span style=""> </span>I sensed a massive <i style="">thing</i> like a giant ball of tinfoil, collapsing forever inward on itself while also expanding forever outward, remaining basically the same, but constantly moving.<span style=""> </span>Scared by the feeling, I jolted out of the experience, and immediately wished to have it again.<span style=""> </span>I asked my mom about how God was like the tinfoil ball thing, but alas, she had no answers for me, and in fact seemed a bit confused and uncomfortable (why <i style="">do</i> people become so uncomfortable with questions about God?).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The infinite comes from the second experience of sliding, a feeling of a sort of in-between space itself.<span style=""> </span>I moved out of time, and experienced it as three-dimensional.<span style=""> </span>Yeah, I know time is usually described as the fourth dimension, but if you are outside of it, you experience it in an entirely different way, as a direction you can move in, which is a simple way to understand what a dimension is.<span style=""> </span>In time-space, where time is experienced as 3D, you can move forward, but you can also move backwards, as well as left, right, up and down.<span style=""> </span>In normal space-time, we experience time as being a straight line through which we move forward through observing new experiences, but in 3D time, the left, right, up and down are alternate times, representing different experiences one could be having at that particular time.<span style=""> </span>The thing is that they all exist, and that consciousness moves through them.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Imagine having a jar of beads and reaching in to select one and put it on a string.<span style=""> </span>All the beads exist, but you select which one comes next until your necklace or bracelet is full.<span style=""> </span>You don’t have to use all the beads, and you can make other necklaces and such, but they all exist at the same time.<span style=""> </span>Additionally, there is only one consciousness threading these beads.<span style=""> </span>Seeing that jar of beads, the vast sea of infinite alternatives all in one place jolted the recognition that outside of my usual experience of time, there was no separation of consciousness.<span style=""> </span>Each bead contained a perspective to experience, and that included personality, ego, distinctions that created the experience of being an isolated individual.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I went through this time-space, slowing the passages of these beads of experience until I was suddenly outside of them all, watching these interlaced toruses flow over and through one another, recognizing the simultaneous unending collapse and expansion as my experience twenty years prior.<span style=""> </span>A moment of glorious <i style="">now</i>, unending, infinite, and the realization as I returned to the experience of time:<span style=""> </span>There was nothing to be afraid of, ever.<span style=""> </span>I was <i style="">all of it.</i><span style=""> </span>I was the <i style="">only</i> thing that existed, in multitudinous forms.<span style=""> </span>Just consciousness, pure and unending, an observer shaping itself in unique ways to experience the fullness of its own existence.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This was what mystics throughout our space and time have recognized and found peace from, and I had a bare glimpse of a reality that contained my usual limited perspective.<span style=""> </span>Although I had understood these things intellectually, experiencing—<i style="">real</i>izing them—changed me.<span style=""> </span>And this is the difference between believing and <i style="">knowing</i> and from this <i style="">knowing</i> comes what I would define as faith for myself.<span style=""> </span>Experiences build belief in an instant what words cannot <i style="">ever</i> accomplish on their own.<span style=""> </span></p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-27546841171957897272008-07-30T09:22:00.000-07:002008-10-14T09:12:18.617-07:00Faith<p class="MsoNormal">When I was a wee little lass, I wanted to help the world a ridiculous amount.<span style=""> </span>I once asked God to give me all the pain in the world so everyone else could be safe, happy, peaceful.<span style=""> </span>Then I started to cry, because I knew it would be horrible and difficult, and because I <i style="">believed</i> God would do what I asked.<span style=""> </span>But then I was immediately calmed by the sudden calming, assuring thought that God wouldn’t give me what I couldn’t handle.<span style=""> </span>I don’t know if it was my own thought or not, but it was soothing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Many years later, when I was between ten and twelve—after watching a show on prophecies about the year 2000, something on NBC (I’d like to watch it again, actually)—I was afraid, so afraid that my stomach twisted up in knots and there was no way I would be able to get to sleep.<span style=""> </span>And then there was a hand on my face, gentle, solid, and with that touch, all of my anxiety and fear vanished.<span style=""> </span>I lay down, smiling, at peace, thankful and able to sleep.<span style=""> </span>I’m not sure whose hand it was.<span style=""> </span>I think it might have been my late grandmother, or it might have been the entity that has stood at my left shoulder for most of my life, or something else entirely.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And the entity itself—who has gone through many name changes and appearances through the years, Rediekiel, Anyse, Never, and back to Rediekiel, whatever or whoever he is—has been with me for a long time.<span style=""> </span>I don’t always pay attention to him or recognize he’s there, but he always is, whether he would be referred to as a guardian angel or whatever, perhaps another individuated from the soul that we share; he is not unique in this world.<span style=""> </span>I’d be more surprised by someone without a guardian than to feel someone else’s (which I have on numerous occasions).<span style=""> </span>It is probably a large portion of what helps me have a sense of faith.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been thinking about faith a lot lately, because I’ve realized I have it, somehow, now in this point in my life.<span style=""> </span>It isn’t “God” that I believe in, or maybe it is.<span style=""> </span>I believe, and have believed, deep down for as long as I remember that whatever exists, that same whatever I came from, is unconditionally loving.<span style=""> </span>Kind.<span style=""> </span>Benevolent.<span style=""> </span>It is the same belief that sparked in me such anger toward the church, toward the idea that “we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves,” toward the hypocrisies of intolerance, forceful conversion, murder in the name of the divine.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So eventually, I became outraged at what I perceived as injustice, such as starving children, people coming into the world and dying before they ever had any chance to have a life—and especially when patronizing people look upon suffering and say with that faint smile “it’s all in God’s plan.<span style=""> </span>You just have to have to be believe.<span style=""> </span>You just have to have faith.”<span style=""> </span>But how could I believe in something that felt <i style="">wrong</i>?<span style=""> </span>How could I force myself to believe what I didn’t believe?<span style=""> </span>I couldn’t, and I had a hard time accepting that other people actually believed what they spoke.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As a result, “faith” has been a sort of dirty word in my vocabulary.<span style=""> </span>I prefer logic, factual sort of evidence.<span style=""> </span>I prefer case histories on which to build ideas, studies and research.<span style=""> </span>Most of the time when people have attempted to reassure “it’s all in God’s plan,” they haven’t had any explanation of <i style="">how</i> it worked.<span style=""> </span>It was used as a cop-out, a write off to placate discomfort rather than attempting to understand.<span style=""> </span>Too often if someone professes faith in some religion, they end up rejecting scientific explanation, denying what seems to be reality.<span style=""> </span>I have never perceived a rift between science and spirituality.<span style=""> </span>If anything, one enhances the other for me, science explaining the whats and hows of reality and spirituality seeking the whys and meaning for my life.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Reincarnation answered a lot of the whys and hows for me, solving in one fell swoop the answers to the problems of suffering, of evil, of prodigy, proficiency and life upon this planet in its current form.<span style=""> </span>Around age twelve, I remember hearing about someone practicing yoga, and I scoffed, writing in my journal about these New Age people with their yoga and their reincarnation where thousands of women claim to have been Cleopatra—and then I remembered overhearing a talk show with a pair of women who each claimed to have been Cleopatra.<span style=""> </span>I was pretty little then, and I looked at the two women, and thought to myself why they couldn’t both have been her.<span style=""> </span>I remembered how I loved the setting light of the summer sun, and how I had once been in love, such love it was heartbreaking to now be without it.<span style=""> </span>Looking at my journal page, I felt ashamed of myself for dismissing a belief offhand without exploring it, without trying to understand it, especially when I myself perhaps had memories.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">More memories came, sometimes in dreams, sometimes brought on by a few notes in a song, sometimes when someone mentioned ancient Egypt, and eventually Atlantis—but giving reincarnation serious consideration didn’t happen until I was fifteen, and in the meantime, I hadn’t paid much attention to it, instead devoting my time to learning about subversions of the Christianity that I felt despised me for who and what I was.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When finally, I decided for my creative writing class I would write a story set in Atlantis, I found myself discussing with my teacher how I felt an affinity for it, how I felt like I never really belonged in this world, and so on.<span style=""> </span>I had memorized the logical argument against God’s existence, which came in the form of three propositions:</p><p class="MsoNormal">1. God is omnipotent.</p><p class="MsoNormal">2. God is All-Loving.</p><p class="MsoNormal">3. Evil exists.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">The problem was that all three of these things supposedly were true, and yet, if God was omnipotent and loved us, then he wouldn’t allow evil to harm us.<span style=""> </span>Or perhaps God did love us, but couldn’t stop evil.<span style=""> </span>I’d looked at the problem with the first two suppositions, but I didn’t bother to examine the third, taking for granted that it was true; neither did I think of other factors in this equation.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My teacher, who I had explained this to, asked me to imagine a little scene.<span style=""> </span>“Say you’re babysitting some kids.<span style=""> </span>They’re playing with the little army men.<span style=""> </span>Legs are twisted, a guy’s melting from the little flamethrower, little plastic guys are buried in the sandbox.<span style=""> </span>Do you stop them?”<span style=""> </span>I think I got it immediately.<span style=""> </span>Of course not.<span style=""> </span>And then it clicked.<span style=""> </span>We can’t be harmed.<span style=""> </span>Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">From there on, I felt switched on.<span style=""> </span>Accelerated.<span style=""> </span>I devoured books left and right and realized I hadn’t been mad at God as much as I was mad at the church for presenting divinity in such a petty small way.<span style=""> </span>The vastness and glory of God overwhelmed any thought of vengeance.<span style=""> </span>Reincarnation was a method in which a soul, having lost its innocence by seeing good and evil, could once again become perfect enough to reach the state of “heaven” or God-awareness.<span style=""> </span>Reincarnation explained why wonderful things happened to people who were generally horrible to one another, and horrible things happened to people who had done no ill.<span style=""> </span>Everything was balanced, and eventually I realized that if I saw Divinity as being perfect, then I could not see imperfections in the world.<span style=""> </span>Good and evil, right and wrong became subjective, redefined as that which unites and that which separates.<span style=""> </span>Heaven was a state of awareness of God and Hell was a state of awareness of isolation.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Even with the belief in reincarnation, however came doubts.<span style=""> </span>I had no evidence of my own to back me up.<span style=""> </span>I had no specific memories of dates, names, places, etc—but there were others who did.<span style=""> </span>Reincarnation made much more sense to me than “one life, then judgment.”<span style=""> </span>That was not a divine idea at all.<span style=""> </span>There was no love in that concept, and if a God could be less loving than a mere human, it was not a God I wanted any part of.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been running around this world for the last ten years taking many things for granted in my thought processes, one being that the greatest reality is an ultimate infinity.<span style=""> </span>If you believe in cause and effect, you can trace a cause back and back and back and back until eventually you have to arrive at a First Cause, and that cause must be Uncaused—existing outside of causality (that I recognized in astronomy class.<span style=""> </span>I also thought that black holes are the mouths of God, taking us back into itself like a guppy carrying its babies in its mouth.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Another given is that everything is perfect because it is complete, lacking nothing.<span style=""> </span>Our ideas of perfection in our limited perspective tend to include only that which is good, failing to recognize the value of that which is not preferable, although it too is necessary for infinite possibilities to exist, and is therefore useful and helpful to us in our own development.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet another given is that there is only one of us, that we may appear plural, but we have arisen from an underlying unity like fingers from a hand.<span style=""> </span></p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-28871877262072174192008-04-30T14:49:00.000-07:002008-04-30T15:04:08.274-07:00Spheres and sleeping downloads<p class="MsoNormal">I awoke, mind chewing, repeating to itself so that I would assimilate, and I held the thought, the memory, the workings that had been explained to me, and returned to sleep.<span style=""> </span>Upon waking again, I have only an inkling what had been explained, and that it had to do with levels of frequencies of light and energy that comprises each being.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am being taught/reminded when I am in states deeper than dream, and waking consciousness is a constriction, like an ocean forced to move through the narrow tube of a funnel.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I woke again, I thought that I could align spheres at which consciousness worked so that their openings aligned, and then I would remember, if I could get the various layers of my mind unified and held together, as if there were nestled spheres with poles, one within the other, and the other, and the other, and if I got the poles aligned, I could reach the larger part of my consciousness, very little of which makes it through to waking awareness. <span style=""> </span>From reading Drunvalo Melchizedek and David Wilcock’s ideas about sacred geometry, it would make sense that these spheres would correlate to the geometric Platonic solids depending on which level of vibration they are on.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It relates to the chakras and kundalini, and wayward thoughts influence the balance of each.<span style=""> </span>If I focus, I could manage this and let the greater awareness work.<span style=""> </span>I think there is a difference between whether I have my head to the south or the north as well.<span style=""> </span>I usually sleep with my head to the south, and I wonder if it makes a difference.<span style=""> </span>I remember Cayce laid with his head to the north or the south depending on which sort of reading he was doing, medical or beyond physical.<span style=""> </span>I’ll have to look that up.</p>G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-64600130476521909062008-04-22T06:19:00.000-07:002008-04-22T06:24:17.104-07:00Ask, and you shall receive...<p class="MsoNormal">042208 Dream, and context.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The last couple days, I have really been kicking around the idea of putting my fantasy trilogy online.<span style=""> </span>Granted, I am nowhere near completed.<span style=""> </span>I do have the sense that part one of book one is virtually complete.<span style=""> </span>Line by line editing is all that is left, and then I think it’s ready to be put out into the world, and yet I still find myself hesitant, for two reasons:<span style=""> </span>1. I lack faith, and 2. Yeah, it’s just the lack of faith.<span style=""> </span>I have to abolish the worry from my mind before I do what I feel I should, and that is to put my stories up online.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is not a good business decision, but that’s part of the reason why I want to do it.<span style=""> </span>All my life I thought I was writing this book for me, to escape into a dream world, to put my mind in a place where I felt free.<span style=""> </span>Now, I’m not so sure.<span style=""> </span>The main character relives lifetime after lifetime because he just can’t drop his fear and his sense of separation.<span style=""> </span>In mystical states, he feels unified with everything in the Universe, but when he is out of it, he’s always afraid of losing his loved one, chasing after her, seeking revenge on the one that always takes her away, even though everyone and everything around him has the message “fear not.<span style=""> </span>We are one.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And so, I decided to ask my higher self to tell me in a dream what I should do about the books.<span style=""> </span>I can picture the website in my head because I made one already for it in an electronic imaging class.<span style=""> </span>I made a website about my characters, about the books, everything.<span style=""> </span>It’s like ding! You had practice, now it’s time for the real thing, and yet I still haven’t made a solid decision.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So here’s the dream I had last night.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was in the local co-op and a talk was going on.<span style=""> </span>One of the people, an older man, was reading aloud from a book, and then a group of people about my age came in, and a girl with a microphone (she was kind of tall, a bit heavy, and of African descent) started talking over the older man, who slowly closed the book and turned his attention to her.<span style=""> </span>I thought she was being a little rude and watched people’s reactions but no one showed anger.<span style=""> </span>The guy with the book began listening intently after his faint irritation left his face.<span style=""> </span>The girl with the microphone began giving a rallying speech about the people of tomorrow and handed the microphone to a young man also of African descent who was sitting in a chair.<span style=""> </span>Instead of being in the co-op, most people were sitting in rows of chairs in a field, and I realized I was standing next to a podium that the girl with the microphone started<span style=""> </span>out behind.<span style=""> </span>People turned in their seats to see what was going on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The young man with the microphone said “I’m just a brotha who had a tough upbringing.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t live in a good area…”<span style=""> </span>As he went on, I recognized him as a kid I went to school with, and I thought it was ridiculous because he lived on the same road as I did, which is a quiet peaceful area.<span style=""> </span>Granted, most places except those far out roads in our town were pretty bad to live in, but I didn’t believe for a moment that he had any kind of tough upbringing. It sounded like an excuse.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Next to him was a skinny sort of white girl, and she gave some answer that seemed totally fluffy to me, a kind of glossing over general issues in an idealistic sort of way without offering any solutions, and I knew she was going to fall through with what she said because she had no anchoring starting point.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I noticed my mom on the opposite sidelines from where I was.<span style=""> </span>“Talk about what you want to do when you grow up,” she said.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“Grow up?”<span style=""> </span>I asked.<span style=""> </span>“What’s the point in that?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She didn’t hear me, just cupped her ear towards me, and I repeated myself until I was almost shouting over everyone else who was talking, which I suddenly knew was my mom’s plan after all, because my throat opened up and my voice cleared and I was standing there in front of all these people yelling “what’s the point?” over and over.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“No, seriously, what’s the point of being a grown up?” I asked, and then the ball was rolling.<span style=""> </span>“I don’t want to live in this world,” I said.<span style=""> </span>The girl with the microphone in her face stared at me, and she was smiling but she said something about what a negative perspective I had, and it seemed like an attempt to silence me or discredit me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">“What’s the point of this?<span style=""> </span>People just run around trying to make money, not stopping to think or love or anything—that’s what ‘grown-ups’ do.<span style=""> </span>It’s not for me.<span style=""> </span>I want to change the world, I want to change that, and I want to show people that’s not the only way they have to live.<span style=""> </span>There’s so much more, things that <i style="">have</i> points, and that’s what I’m going to go for.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Somewhere in my little speech, the girl with the microphone ran up to me, and I was actually speaking up for myself, and realizing that I was finding my voice is making me teary as I type this. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Courage is doing what you feel is right, even when—especially when you feel fear about it.<span style=""> </span>I told my mom about my website idea last night and she asked “but how would you make money from it?” and I told her about downloads and paperbacks, somehow too shy to mention donations, if people felt like sharing with me.<span style=""> <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span>But now, after this dream full of people who are all me, motivating me, that’s what I’m going to go for.<span style=""> </span>If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.<span style=""> </span>If I make a mistake, then it’s a mistake that is done with and I can learn from—but it doesn’t feel like a mistake.<span style=""> </span>My misgivings are in the realm of my mom saying what she already said.<span style=""> </span>I didn’t write these books for money, and after the dream, I feel pretty confident that I won’t need to worry about it. I can be a waitress. I can be anything to "make a living." It'll work out one way or another.</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p>Thank you, Higher Self, I'll be asking you for dreams more and more often.G. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615884891245391633.post-90532442158251626702008-04-21T10:06:00.000-07:002008-04-21T10:30:22.965-07:00Introduction and some propsI'm going to put up a link to David Wilcock's website http:www.divinecosmos.com. Right here is a wealth of information with scientific backing and it's phenomenal. He's put books up there, mp3s, he's got videos on Youtube and is a really positive force in the field of consciousness studies. Plus he's an incarnation of the same soul-pool as Edgar Cayce. Check him out!<br /><br />Another awesome resource is Project Camelot. Kerry Lynn Cassidy and Bill Ryan have gone around the world interviewing those "in the know." We're talking black ops, UFOs, free energy, the Illuminati, lots of different subjects and people. Check them out on Youtube.<br /><br />I wish I could have a positive effect on people the way these people do, but I am dragging my feet. I'm trying to figure out how I could financially feasibly set up a website to publish my own books on it for people to read for free, but also provide free and paid downloads as well as paper copies through Lulu or some other self-publishing website. I'd also like to have a section of the website set up so that people can publish their spiritually uplifting or inspirational fiction and perhaps receive some form of revenue from it without bogging it with advertisements, or at the very least, allow some control over the types of advertisements that appear. <br /><br />I have a trilogy of fantasy narratives that within them hold much of what I know about spirituality, and it follows a particular soul within a soul group through his evolution, through his attempts to grow and remember what he is. I've been writing these stories since high school, and feel that this is one of my life's main works that I really have to get out there <span style="font-style: italic;">now.</span> I have to take the risk and step out there, knowing that if I put forth this website, I'll never be able to traditionally publish my books, and that is a big tripping point for me, but I really don't feel that art and expression should require payment to be shared. I really want to share the stories and hope that people can connect with and get something out of the books.<br /><br />We're at a point in our evolution in this world where we need as much out there to reach people who are seeking as possible. <br /><br />Peace, love and light,<br />ZevaG. A. Chartierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231239759503359954noreply@blogger.com0